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Mythical Tears

Chuck Norris Tears

Strong, smooth and full of kick...

  • 0cl
  • ABV 100
  • Stock Number 31D4183
  • Out of stock

After the incredible success of both Unicorn Tears Gin and Phoenix Tears Rum, we thought that we'd try our hands at capturing the essence of another, far more legendary creature. Chuck Norris.

Sorry to say, we don't have any tears yet... and we wouldn't hold out hope for any either. Obviously.

Why? Well, for those uneducated in the man, the myth, the legend that is Chuck Norris, you might be surprised to hear that he never cries. But before you inundate us with ridiculous statements like "that's impossible!", please let us explain... it all makes perfect sense. Tears just simply aren't for Chuck Norris, they're exclusively for his enemies! After all, he invented them so that we (you and me) have more ways to express the fear of facing him in combat.

Yes, you may have seen Chuck Norris crying in a film (stunt double), or may want to test his metal with an onion cutting challenge (FYI: it's the onions that cry) but we can honestly say that you won't see a single tear leave his magnificent eyes. In fact, as far as we know, Chuck Norris has only ever cried once - and those manly tears went on to create the world's rivers and oceans. True fact.

IF Chuck Norris did cry, however, we're sure that the tears would be the finest, smoothest bourbon in the universe, be a vibrant red, white and blue, and taste like freedom. Drinking the magical liquid would also most likely grow you an extremely luscious beard (on the spot, no less) and teach you the secret art of the round-house kick.

But until we find out for certain... we'll just focus on the bottle.


Place your order before 4pm Monday to Friday and your drinks will be delivered for just £5.95 when your basket subtotal is over £25.00. PLEASE SEE DELIVERY PAGE FOR OUTLYING EXCEPTIONS FOR SOME POSTAL CODES WHERE DELIVERY may take 2-3 days.

Spend over £79 on your order and delivery is FREE.

Orders with a basket subtotal below £25.00 will be charged £11.95 for delivery. So why not spend over £25.00 and get Delivery at half-price for just £5.95! .

Please note that we are currently unable to deliver to Channel Island addresses including all postcodes starting with GY or JE..



Order by 4pm on Friday and we’ll have your drinks with you on Saturday.

Note that any orders placed after 4pm on a Friday will be delivered 'Next Day' on the Tuesday as standard.

Don't need it right away? You can choose a nominated delivery date in the future at checkout.